By Fola Ojo

His teeming fans call him King Wasiu Ayinde Marshall 1. And that’s what he calls himself and answers to.

I listened to Fuji music when I was in my 20s in Nigeria in the days of Sikiru Ayinde Barrister and Kollington Ayinla. But now, Fuji is not my cup of tea. I was told that KWAM 1 is good with his Fuji craft.

A few days ago, KWAM 1, alongside his subjects, tried to board a Value Jet aircraft heading to Lagos from Abuja. And the king had a flask full of some kind of liquid no eyes could see except the king’s. Who cares what’s in the flask? I don’t. His subjects travelling with him probably didn’t care either. But aviation laws cared. It’s the rule all over the world. Aviation laws may not care about the content as long as it’s not going to blow up the plane in flight. But the content in a bottle or flask on your carryon luggage must not be more than 100ml (3.4-ounce) all of which must fit into a single, clear, resealable quart-sized bag. There was no way the king, or anyone else could board a commercial flight with a big container.

ValueJet foot soldiers confronted KWAM 1 as he queued up to board. Who questions a king in Nigeria? Who confronts a royalty in a challenge? Nobody! Oba a pase wa! Alase ekeji Orisa. Kings are deemed next to God who has no human deputy. That’s what we were told in Yorubaland growing up. And as it has been in the beginning so shall it be for a long time to come.

But KWAM 1 is not a royal king. At least, not yet. He is the headhunter of Princes in his Ijebu kingdom. Well, being a Prince does not make you a king. I have some platelets of royal blood in my veins too. Please don’t call me a Prince. Only my wife does.

I heard KWAM 1 has some royal blood flowing in his veins. And I heard that he is jostling to succeed a king from his kingdom who just joined his ancestors. And that king was admirably royal. Exceptionally respected. Inspiringly respectable. And indubitably the doyen of all royals. This king-wanna-be (KWAM 1) was the right-hand man of the respected king. He must have learnt a few ethics of royalty from the Oba who just died. Obviously, he did not. He has his own world carved out for him. It’s a world of: “The president is my relative”; “The Governor is my friend”; “That Senator is my boy”; “The Police Chief is my bobo”; “I am KWAM 1″; “Who can stop me from breaking rules”? “Not even a Bombardier CRJ900 jet with its body of steel can stop me”. Hmmnn!!!!

My friends, this is a soliloquy. I’m just trying to guess the musing of a king gone bananas. The “Ganusi Palace” where KWAM 1 reigns as king is not a place for royal decorum.

I was born in Nigeria. Nigerians with some cash in the bank love big talks and big swagger. Those who don’t have enough love to package themselves as a heavyweight. Laws are meant to be obeyed ONLY by the disadvantaged and flouted by big boys with heavy connections in purlieus of power. My friends, If you are big, don’t tout your bigness. If you are rich, don’t flaunt your cash. If you are famous, stay humble and let your fame announce you. Humility is not stupidity; it is wisdom. It is how you live well. And it is how God wants us to live.

Was KWAM 1 bewitched? He stepped right in front of the Bombardier aircraft revving to take off and tried to stop it. Even if you tried to stop a speeding molue, you will be smouldered out of existence. Was KWAM 1 bewitched? In Imesi-Ile where I come from, they call the behaviour of this man “Efun”. It means some demonic invocation in combination with a scattershot of incantation flying 1,000 kilometres per minute in the spiritual realm to hit a human target. The purpose is to make a man act like a lunatic for a few seconds. And the few seconds misbehaviour can end the life of a man going somewhere in life. Who did KWAM 1 offend? Who poked him in the spiritual realm to dare a bombastic Bombardier with no human breath?

I watched the video of the Unruly King on Thread. Captain Oluranti Ogoyi in the cockpit revved the flying machine. The beautiful damsel wasn’t even thinking about a man drunk in possible bewitchment. Air Traffic Controllers must clear up a pilot before taking off. They must have cleared her. To her passengers, she announced a take-off. Off she went daring a possibly bewitched and emotionally unstable king. And there came the dashing and surging right wing of the Bombardier jet in the direction of the king. And the king’s head without a crown narrowly missed a bash as he ducked in the fear that gripped him resetting his bloated and haughty brain!

I sighed as I watched the video of the king’s escape from the cold hands of the Grim Reaper. Thank God for his life. He won’t do it again. Ranti, my girl! The cute Captain in the cockpit. I like strong women bound to the ethics of their callings and driven by passion. Ranti should not be suspended for long. She should not be held back from doing what she loves. And she’s been doing it for 10 years without spots or wrinkles. I salute the young woman.

The story of the disruptive behaviour of a man flying on Hawaiian airlines readily comes to mind as our aviation sector is dealing with this mess. A few years ago, James August was drunk, threatened his girlfriend, her children, other passengers, and crew members, and smacked a flight attendant on her shoulder with the back of his hand. He had been drinking both before and during the flight and became increasingly aggressive. The law answered. August pled guilty to interfering with a flight crew, admitting to the judge that he doesn’t remember much of what happened. His $97,817 fine covered the fuel, maintenance, and crew costs of the diverted flight, as well as the money the airline lost rebooking passengers on other airlines.

Nigerian aviation passenger and boarding protocol is sometimes shameful. Why will a passenger be allowed to walk to the jet bridge with a container that flouts the standard? Why was KWAM 1 not screened at the security and container tossed in the trash before he made it to the boarding point? Festus Keyamo is doing a fantastic job in our Aviation Ministry. There is so much disorderliness in that house. He needs to put things in order.

KWAM 1 should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Setting him loose without comeuppance because he knows the powerful is setting a bad example.